OMG......ew.

“Buhao he” ‘That won’t be a good drink’ was the response to my order at the coffee shop in the little town we left this morning. I was going to have to convince the two young people behind the counter to make me a coffee with coconut milk and no sugar. When I explained what I wanted, they went into a tailspin because my order wasn’t on the menu. I love the people of China. They are a skilled and diligent people, but not altogether creative or imaginative.

I don’t need your opinion, homegirl. I need coffee.

“It’s ok. I like it. I want it.” is the only counterargument I had the capability of saying in Chinese. Thankfully, I don’t know enough Chinese to be a bitch. I walked out of the shop with my coffee of choice and tried to remember which restaurant Annimal was eating in. They all looked the same to me. Outside of the coffee shop, a woman was waiting for her toddler to finish business on the sidewalk. The woman watched and waited as the child made a puddle of pee in the middle of the path where people walk. Why? I thought as I leapt into the street, trying not to spill my coffee. I located Annimal’s bright green trailer outside of a shop and went in to sit with her while she finished breakfast. It was the kind of morning where I couldn’t stomach Chinese food. I’ve eaten so much of the same food that sometimes my body just says, “Nope. Not doing it. Not hungry. Feed me that and see what happens”. Because I wasn’t eating, Annimal chose a meat shop. Each table was full of people eating slabs of god knows what kind of meat with bones sticking out every which way. I made the mistake of peering over to an adjacent table where a man had broken a bone in half and was using a straw to loudly suck the marrow out of it. I stared down at my coffee cup and talked myself out of puking. We left the restaurant and started walking out of the city. Lining the each sidewalk in the town was a forest of streetlights. This town is the main streetlight manufacturer in China. We walked slowly, ooh-ing and aah-ing at the beautiful lights, choosing our favorites, and

identifying towns where we’ve seen the different light poles before. A man walking on the sidewalk in front of us hocked a loogie and spit it directly in the path I was walking on. I sidestepped to avoid it, suddenly realizing that the sidewalk was dotted with balls of saliva and mucus from dozens of people who had done the same as he just did. Judging from the sidewalk, everyone in China has a raging sinus infection. Gross. I drank most of my coffee and opened the lid to drink the last bit. There, at the bottom of my cup was a little black bug. Gross. China is not sitting well with me today.

Something about today made we queasy. It started with the bones and bugs. Then it was multiple dead birds on the side of the road. I watched my step carefully because there were a few times today that I almost stepped on a bloody, fleshy pile of feathers. Ugh. We stopped at a gas station after a long stretch with no bathrooms. I rushed to the ladies room after drinking my bug coffee and about a gallon of water. The bathroom had no toilets, but a trough to squat over. It was already full of feces and urine. My stomach churned again and I talked myself out of puking…again. Not ten minutes before we arrived at the gas station, we walked by a ravine that was exuding a terrible smell. It was the smell of death. My ill-advised reaction was to look to where the smell was coming from. I wish I hadn’t. A few feet off the road was a pig carcass. Its head was intact, its stomach was bloated, and its hind section was rotting away, partially consumed by maggots. Ew. I could throw up right now just writing about it.

I love China. It is beautiful and mysterious, but not altogether sanitary.