Ode to The Annimal

Imagine what it would be like if an alien came to your town. You’ve seen them in movies and imagined that they might be real, but you’d never seen one in real life before now. But now you see her. She’s green and scaly, or whatever aliens look like, standing at your threshold. She’s speaking strange, accented English, asking you where the bathroom is. Everyone stares at the creature as she slithers (or however aliens move) by with her human friend leading the way. She’s wearing the strangest clothes, unlike anything you’ve ever seen, and everything from her hair to the way she moves is foreign. Elders stare and children cry. You have just had your first alien sighting.

We are back in DEEP China, where I am a creature from another planet and Ann is often seen as my lowly interpreter. I am a being of unending mystery, and Ann is the person who gets an ass stuck in her face as people crawl over her to try to get closer to me. Ahhh, yes. Everything is as it should be.

However, if these people could be rational for a second and see past their narcissistic need to take a picture with a foreigner so that they can put it on their wechat and gain three seconds of attention and multiple little heart clicks from their friends, they would see the real story. Everyone who has

ever read our blogs or spent a little bit of time with us on the road knows that Ann is the rock of this trip. I don’t mean this to say, “She’s great and I’m nothing…also, do I look fat in this? Do you think that girl’s prettier than me? Please love me.” No. Everyone already knows I’m a legend. That’s what my mommy tells me, anyway. The point is that together, we are doing great things AND Ann does it with grace. I need you all to understand the wonderful things that Ann does because she would never tell you herself. First of all, she’s not my interpreter (I could never afford her), but she does help me figure out what the hell-o dolly is going on, which I greatly appreciate. Before I got a grasp on Mandarin (which Ann is also teaching me) I was lost 90% of the time. And speaking of being lost, Annimal is also a bomb navigator. It took her a little while to get a grasp on Baidu maps, but now she takes the time to plan our route each night after a long day of walking a route she planned the previous night. We’re never lost (well, she isn’t. I’m always lost and I love that about this trip). Throw in constant selflessness and an unreal amount of patience, and I’ve painted a realistic picture of The Annimal.

It’s no secret that this trip has been hard. It has been an incredible experience, and it has stretched us emotionally, spiritually, physically, and intellectually. Ann has triumphed with determination and grace. Unfortunately, in some people’s eyes she will never get any appreciation. Women click their tongues at her and shake their heads at how dark her skin is, some even telling her to her face how ugly she looks with dark skin (a proper Chinese woman is supposed to have fair skin). While I want to scream, “That ‘ugly’ skin has walked across China for people with disabilities, you ignoramus! What has your skin done today?” Ann simply nods her head, excuses herself from the conversation, and doesn’t tell me what has happened until later (probably so I don’t scold the ignorant people in English, hoping they understand my distain through my anger).

I guess what I’m trying to say is that Annimal is a boss and I appreciate her so much. I’m not sure this trip would have been possible without her. It definitely would have been much more difficult and much less fun.