‘As long as you’re enjoying yourself, it’s worth it’

Day 8- Rest Day

We woke up in Qingyuan and set out to find some wifi. After 30 minutes of walking around without finding a connection, we hired scooter drivers to take us to McDonald’s. It turned out to be just up the street from our hotel. After updating the world on our adventures, we were picked up by the 

volunteers. The Qingyuan volunteers offered to take us to a  group home for people with disabilities. This was such a great opportunity- our first chance to talk to people with similar interests on this trip. We arrived just as the students were eating lunch. Upon arriving to the home, we sat on a couch in  the office and talked to a few of the staff members. As we talked, we worked. The staff and students spend time doing various assembly jobs in order to raise money to keep the home functioning. On this day they were assembling what seemed to be e-stimulation pads. Jobs like this provide revenue for the home and help the students develop motor skills. It was described to us as a kind of occupational therapy. We helped, inhaling the medicinal fumes as we peeled back the wrapping and stuck metallic beads onto the pads. The woman who runs the home invited us to have lunch. Ann talked to her and translated for me as we listened to her story and asked her questions. As we talked, a little boy was buzzing around us. He was eyeing me as we ate, and

eventually felt brave enough to investigate further. He grabbed my hand and led me to the next room where he put me in 'jail' behind stacked school desks. As I pretended to be trapped, he laughed and laughed. Then he went back for Ann, bringing her to jail a few moments later. Satisfied with himself, he left us to find more potential prisoners. This little boy was ornery and hilarious. It was impossible to get a picture of him that isn't blurry because he never stopped moving. We played ( and by 'played' I mean he led me around the room and showed me himself in every picture on the wall) while Ann chatted with the grown-ups. Eventually, I came back to the conversation. Ann filled me in on the woman's story. She started the home in 2009 to fill a need- nobody was properly caring for the adolescents and adults with disabilities in Qingyuan. She told us of the triumphs and struggles of caring for people with disabilities in China. She mentioned that now, after years of taking the students to the local park, people seem to be much more receptive and kind to them. She told us what an exhausting and sometimes thankless job hers is, and how it frustrates her when parents seem to dump their unwanted children on her. She has hopes for more money, programs, awareness, and acceptance for people with disabilities in China in the future. Funny- we have the same dream. 

Day 9 KM count- 105

The next morning the volunteer leader took us through the edge of town and pointed us in the right direction. We struggled Annimal’s cart out of the trunk and set off, ready for a full day. The road was absolutely

BEAUTIFUL. We walked down this two-lane road all morning. It was lined with beautiful red pom-pom like flowers and the traffic was minimal. Late in the morning we stopped at a small village shop for a rest. According to our calculations we were coming up on our 100^th kilometer, so we purchased a beer in anticipation of our celebration. Just as we were leaving, a young woman came up to us with an important message. She seemed to have a disability of some kind, and she was as happy as can be.

‘As long as you’re enjoying yourself, it’s worth it’ she told us in Chinese. I don’t know if she knew how much I needed to hear that. But I did.

We continued on, excited for our pending victory. Not long after leaving the village, two cyclists passed us. The woman behind looked back at me, then circled around. Lola and Ana are English teachers who live in Guangzhou. Lola is from Ireland and Ana, Colombia. I was SO happy to meet someone 

who I could speak English to. The ladies decided to walk to our 100^th KM with us, which was only a few steps away. We opened our beer and celebrated together, cheers-ing and drinking Budweiser from our camping cups. It was the perfect way to celebrate. We took a break to talk to the women, exchanging stories, laughs, and contact information. We made plans to meet up when we’re back from our journey, then said goodbye. 

We had some lunch and kept on. Since the road we turned on to was under construction, we had one whole side of the highway to ourselves. It was fantastic. A few hours later, we took a break to do a daily dance, then turned off of the main road toward our town for the night- Jiangkou Zhen. I LOVE this old town. There are mountains in the distance and a river just outside of town. We were the town spectacle as we paraded through the market street to find a hotel. Women looked up from their sewing machines, men looked up from their games of dominoes, and children stopped playing  in the street to watch us pass and comment. We checked into the hotel and received our key to the room on the second floor. We had the Laoban (boss woman) film as we struggled to get Ann’s cart up the stairwell to the second floor, jokingly cursing the name ‘Gordon Styles’ the whole way up. Unfortunately, the video was too dark to see. But take my word for it- it was comical. That night we walked around the beautiful little town and let a rambunctious little girl guide us a place to eat. The people were very kind and ABSOLUTELY in awe of what we are doing. I plan to go back and grow old in that little town.

We went back to our room, laughed at the videos of the day, said goodnight to the world, and slept. 

The Annimal-Drawn Carriage

We finished lunch, said goodbye to our hosts, and carried on with our

newfound friend. Ann chatted with him, and I asked him a few questions through her. He left the Dongguan the day before we left Zhongshan. Tired of the rat race, he quit his factory job and decided to start walking. His family told him he’s crazy. We think he’s awesome. We only walked about 400 yards with him before Gordon’s  driver found us. Gordon Styles, Ann’s husband’s boss and our good friend, purchased a walking trailer for Ann in hopes of making her load easier to carry. He ordered it from Holland and we’ve been tracking it for the past week. Finally it was here. Gordon hired a driver to find us on the road to deliver the trailer. It was like Christmas! The driver pulled up in his white van with a huge grin on his face. The four of us spent ten minutes assembling the trailer and transferring Ann’s belongings to it. Soon enough, we were going again.

‘Wow!’ Ann gasped. ‘I feel no weight on my back at all!’ We sent Gordon a message of many thanks.

‘Thanks you Gordon!’ Ann started. ‘It’s amazing! I can walk faster than Darrah now!’

A few hours later we came to a shop where we stopped to use the bathroom ad rest. We took off our packs and talked to the family who runs the shop. There were two children who wouldn’t come near me. Their mom was trying to get them to speak to me to practice their English, but the boys weren’t having it. I went over to a fish tank and crouched down as the younger boy, about 7 years old, watched me.

‘Is this your fish?’ I asked him in English. He nodded his head and buried his face in his mom’s leg. I looked up to see his brother playing with a badminton racquet and birdie. ‘Can I play? I asked the younger boy in Chinese. He ran to a big box of toys and pulled out two more racquets and a birdie. I coaxed the younger boy into the driveway and started playing with him. The older boy popped his head out to watch. Then he decided to join us. Soon we were all playing together. ‘Dengyixia’ I said. Wait a moment. I went to

my bag and grabbed by quickstart tennis ball that I packed in hopes of a moment like this. I introduced the boys to the ball and soon we had a game of quickstart tennis going in the parking lot. The boys LOVED it….almost as much as I did. We played while the adults took pictures. I got to be a tennis pro again for 15 minutes. It was magic. 

We said goodbye to my new best friends and kept walking. An hour and a half later it was 5:30pm and we were exhausted. Ann suggested that we catch a bus to meet the people who were waiting on us, as it was getting late. We sat at the bus stop and waited for the #5 to Qingyuan. Ann exchanged a few words with a group of old men who were sitting on a short brick wall in a courtyard. Ten minutes later we watched the #5 bus blow past us without stopping. Great. We eventually stopped a car and hired the driver to take us the rest of the way. Ann couldn’t walk anymore and we were late. My ego struggled with this. In the moment, I was exhausted, hungry and grumpy. I had to have the patience with myself

to calm down and realize that getting into the van was disappointing but necessary in the moment. We didn’t have any other options. When we made it to Qingyuan we met a few leaders and volunteers from their city volunteer organzation. They treated us to a great meal and set up a hotel for us. I tried my best to be pleasant even though I was beyond exhausted and grumpy. After a 10 minute struggle to get Ann’s cart into the trunk of a car, we got to our hotel, got showered, and went to bed.  Day 7- Done. 

Not For the Faint of Heart

*Before you read: I am so grateful to be learning so much about the Chinese people, language, and culture. This was a difficult post to write and may be a difficult one for some of you animal lovers to read. Please don't judge my new friends without having ever walked in their shoes. I beg you to read this post with an open mind, an understanding heart..... and an empty stomach.

The past two days have been full of surprises. On Friday we left Guangzhou area for good and made our way towards Qingyuan, the next city to the north. We had a long road ahead of us and we had people expecting us in the city on Saturday night.

On Friday morning I woke up at Home. The Home Hotel, that is. This was the first time we’d found a  

reasonably priced hotel exactly at the time we were ready to stop walking. We left the chilly hotel room in search of food. Twenty minutes later we found ourselves at a little breakfast noodle shop. It became obvious to me that we were the morning entertainment in this tiny corner of the world as everyone stopped what they were doing to watch us pass. Ann ordered us two bowls of noodles. When our meals came I thought they’d made a mistake, as there were pinkish-grey cuts of meat resting on my noodles. In fact, Ann had forgotten that I don’t eat meat…she claims. I have a theory that she was just VERY hungry that day and didn’t want to look like a pig, so she ‘accidentally’ ‘forgot’ that I don’t eat meat. Either way, I soon had a meatless bowl of noodles in front of me along with fresh-made, steaming soymilk. I was a happy camper, as this was the most beautiful and delicious breakfast we’d had so far. The vegetables were fresh, the ginger had just been cut, and the noodles were delicious! With day 6 off to a great start, I had a surge of energy. I walked behind Ann and literally danced my way through Huadu. I had my headphones on, Macklemore’s ‘Can’t Hold Us’ traveling through the wires and into my soul. I bobbed my head, threw my arms into the air, and stepped to the rhythm that only existed in my head as people on passing busses craned their necks, double-taking at the dancing, pack-bearing foreigner. I didn’t care. I wasn’t ashamed. I was just dancing.

We stopped for a bathroom break at a beautiful park. There, we met a girl named Yuki and attracted attention from many park-goers. Yuki is a Chinese girl who speaks English. She went on an exchange program to New Hampshire last year, and she is planning to travel as a translator to Sri Lanka this year. She was a very pleasant girl to have a conversation with (This was the first time I’ve spoken English to anyone except Ann on our trip). The afternoon was long because I knew that Ann was having a hard time. She had been ill-advised to throw away a foot bandage that she was using to wrap and support her ankle (my bad). It was getting late in the afternoon and it was time to stop. We had seen a McDonald’s on the map and made it our goal to get there. It seemed to take forever to get to that goddamn Mickey D’s. Finally, we found it. We had our ice cream of the day and found a hotel nearby. The hotel was above a busy marketplace that was filled with vendors selling everything from grilled octopus to knock-off Louie Vuittons. We had a quick dinner and then succumbed to our exhaustion, drifting off to sleep earlier than usual.

The next morning offered another great breakfast. We found a breakfast stand selling labufan. This is my favorite breakfast dish that is made by putting batter made from rice flour and water on a metal sheet

with an egg. It is then inserted into a steamer and scraped onto a plate when it becomes translucent and reaches almost a gelatinous consistency. All you need to know is that it’s delicious. We started walking early and soon came to a market. Ann commented that the markets are bustling more than usual because the big holiday- Chinese New Year- is approaching. We slowly walked through the busy market while taking pictures and videos of the beautiful fruits, vegetables, and furniture. Live ducks and chickens were being sold. You could take them home, or you could have them slaughtered, feathered, and chopped up on the spot. Ann joked with me about getting one for lunch (I’m sure everyone who bought birds wanted to have them as pets…to let them live happy lives and die peacefully of old age) Fish flopped around in shallow tanks and birds wriggled their bound feet and wings in hopes of freedom. It was a vegetarian’s worst nightmare. Then it happened. One of my biggest China fears came true. As I was watching the world through the lens of my digital camera, a peculiar sight came onto my screen. A man was standing behind his booth selling meat. It wasn’t chicken. It wasn’t pork (that was the booth across from him). It wasn’t beef.

It was dog.

Head and all.

Hung on a meat rack.

For sale by the jin.

I took a picture because I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t. And then I had to leave. My heart started to beat fast. Blood started pumping through my veins rapidly and my face became red hot. I took one sickening glimpse of the bloody carcass of what we call ‘man’s best friend’ and I became so filled with rage that I

had to walk away. Fight or flight kicked into my animal brain and I chose to flee before I made a scene. I wanted to scream at the man. I wanted to say, ‘WHAT THE FUCK! WHY? WHY WOULD YOU KILL A DOG? THEY’RE SMART CREATURES! THEY FEEL PAIN AND FEAR! WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THIS??? TELL ME WHY!’

But I didn’t. It was very difficult, but I didn’t scream because I already know why it's done. Culture. For a long time, China was very poor. They were not the ‘we can’t afford Christmas presents this year’ kind of poor. They were the starving and dying kind of poor. As vile as it sounds to an American, Chinese people once had to eat whatever they could get their hands on in order to survive. Dogs were not seen as pets. They were seen as food. Much like the way many Americans see pigs, cows, and lambs (don’t even get me started on that soap box). Seeing dog on the chopping block was startling, unsettling, and inferoriating to me. But to some Chinese people, it is normal. It is a cultural characteristic that was born out of necessity and kept out of habit. This is changing, though. Both foreigners and Chinese people alike have started rallying to educate and convince people not to eat dogs. And just like any big cultural change, it is taking time. In no way to I condone eating dog (or any animal for that matter) AND I am happy that the Chinese survived their starvation period, even though it meant they had to take (what I see as) unfortunate, heartbreaking measures. 

That afternoon the GPS led us through construction. I imagine that this only happened because I’d done laundry the night before and I had damp clothes hanging off my pack. They were just damp enough to turn a dusty sock into a muddy one. Fantastic. At lunchtime we stopped at a shop that was set up in a

garage near the construction site. There were two children watching Spongebob Squarepants on an old box television, and a little girl eying me cautiously from a distance. Ann told the people our story and they graciously invited us to join them for lunch. We all sat at a big round table that they set up in the middle of the shop. We chatted as we ate, but soon were interrupted when Ann seemingly flew out of her seat and out of the shop. She saw a man walking with a large pack. He was obviously on an adventure like us! I followed her out. She called to the man, who came up to the driveway to talk. He was a young Chinese man wearing blue jeans and a cowboy hat. He and Ann talked as I tried to understand, unsuccessfully. I became distracted by the children, who decided the strange foreign girl was more interesting than Spongebob. They crept up behind me and hid when I turned to them. I tried to take pictures as they scattered like cockroaches in the light. Finally, I showed them the pictures of themselves and they laughed and laughed. They hit behind each other as we took selfies, then jumped into the frame in front of each other. They were so funny. And so dang cute. I was called back to the grown-up conversation by Ann.

‘Darrah! This man is walking from Guangdong to Tibet!’

We are not the only crazy ones.

To be continued….

Rocket Women

We’ve had two good days in a row! Yesterday morning we left that awful hostel in a hurry. We had just taken a morning video and started packing our gear when I decided I wanted some breakfast. We finished the leftover sweet potatoes from the previous night and I started washing the apples we had purchased for breakfast. As I was washing the apples in the bathroom/closet, I noticed that a chunk had been taken out of one of the apples.

‘That’s weird,’ I thought, ‘Why would Ann have taken a bite out of the apple before I washed it?' Justas I was about to ask her, I saw tiny little teeth marks on my apple. It wasn’t Ann who was gnawing on my apple….IT WAS A RAT! I threw the apples down on the bed and proceeded to freak the fuck out.

‘OH MY GOD OH MY GOD! THERE’S RAT BITES OUT OF THE APPLE! A RAT WAS GNAWING ON MY APPLE! EWWWWWWWW!!!! THAT’S SOOOO GROSS! OH MY GOD. WE’RE LEAVING. RIGHT NOW. WE’RE LEAVING!’  I thought the situation was absolutely was appalling. Ann thought it was hilarious. Thankfully, Ann caught it all on video.

‘Welcome to China!’ She said. It was disgusting and awful and disgusting.  I don’t want to talk about it anymore.

We started in the wrong direction, so we had to backtrack a few minutes. Then we got going in the right direction, but on the wrong side of the road to cross an overpass. Frustrated, we took this as a lesson of how important it is to take the time to get our bearings straight before beginning to walk. We walked 8 kilometers until we entered Guangzhou, our first big milestone. When we first saw the Guangzhou South station, I was taken aback by its size. It reminded me of the Dallas Cowboy stadium in Arlington. It’s HUGE. I had my heart set on ice cream and Ann needed a coffee. We sat in the station and enjoyed our treasured foods. Ann and I decided to take the subway to the north side of Guangzhou to avoid walking through so much traffic in the heart of the city. We took a short ride and started walking again after a quick lunch. We walked all afternoon, covering 13.1 kilometers in three hours. Ann is walking much easier now. She is teaching herself how to stride with ease instead of a high-impact, pounding motion that characterizes the way many Chinese people walk. She can walk much faster and be so much more relaxed this way. Her nasty blisters are also healing quickly! This is the best development, as she and I were both plagued by them (me with worry, her with pain). We arrived to the Home Hotel late- around 5:30pm after a full day. Home Hotel is like The Ritz Carlton compared to the previous night. We collapsed long enough to get cold (Southern China doesn’t do heaters) and then rallied ourselves out for noodles and beer. When we returned to our room we quickly got showered and cozy in our beds. It was a very good day 5.

While I walk, I’ve been listening to podcasts. Some are extremely interesting such as an interview of the first woman to ever see a giant squid, and some are mere background noise while my mind drifts away to my past and future boyfriends. Today I came across an interesting one (podcast not boyfriend. none of my current boyfriends are interesting). It was on Ted Talk radio, on the subject of fear. Guy Roz interviewed many people who each had an interesting perspective on fear- an astronaut, an author, a magician, and a folk singer. The astronaut’s interview caught my attention. He was describing the hype leading up to the day of a launch. After decades of training for space, the day finally arrives, and there is a surreal feeling about the charade. People are watching, you’re wearing abnormal clothing, and the chance of failure is a small but terrifying seed in the back of the mind. I resonated with the astronaut’s description of his launch. We had our own launch last Sunday, and now we are six days into our journey. The astronaut described the intensity of coming back down to Earth, hurdling through the atmosphere at five miles a second. He said the only reason that he and his fellow crew members are laughing through the nerves instead of screaming is because of how thoroughly prepared they all are. We too are prepared. Though, it only took us six months, not two decades because our mission is on a bit of a smaller scale. Ann and I have been given everything we need to succeed on this walk. We have everything from hiking boots to cash to massage oil. If two humans have ever been ready, motivated,

and equipped to do a mission such as The Walk, we are those humans. And, like the astronauts, we are able to laugh our way through it. There have been some miserable moments such as dealing with blisters or being tired with throbbing feet at the end of the day, but we have laughed through every single one of them. For example, our feet are taking such a beating that the first thing I do every evening when we find a hotel is to take my shoes off and put my feet up on the wall as I lay in my bed. After about ten minutes of this, I can finally hobble over to the kettle to heat some water. In an attempt to alleviate this pain, Ann had a genius idea. She once heard that putting pads in your shoes is an effective way to achieve superior comfort. No, I’m not talking about Dr. Scholls. I’m talking about Always Feminine Hygiene products. I laughed until my stomach hurt as I watched Ann sit on the edge of her bed and rip a sanitary napkin off of its wrapping, stick it on the bottom of her sock, and shove her foot into her boot. Fortunately for

Ann, it didn’t rain that day.

There are two great parts of the day. The first is when we make an afternoon stop for ice cream. I’m greatly enjoying being able to eat anything without consequences. The second is dinnertime. After a bit of rest in out room, Ann and I venture out to find something to eat. Usually it’s noodles, vegetables, and beer. As we eat, we game plan for the next day and break down the one we’ve just finished. We’ve also talked about the impact The Walk is making on us and how we think it will change us. It is still unknown to us how this experience is growing us. Maybe it’s too soon to tell. But it is comforting to know that no matter what happens, we’ll be able to laugh our way through it. 

The Worst Hostel in China- Day 5

 When I first wrote about tonight I wrote “We are in a dump’. But I couldn’t leave that as the first sentence you read because there are two sides to every coin. There are good things and bad things about this hostel. Allow me to illustrate my point.

GOOD-The water kettle heats water.

BAD- The water kettle is covered in a layer of old grease.

GOOD-They’ve put up posters to make the rooms nice.

BAD- Ann has large-breasted women on the posters on her wall, and I have baby penises on mine.

That’s not a sentence I thought I would ever write. They’re colorful posters with lots of bubbles, stars, teddy bears, angels, and a cute baby wearing nothing but a kerchief. There are no windows in my room, but there are holes at the top of the concrete walls. They open to the hallway, and the hallway is open to the street. There are two temperatures for the shower- freezing and scalding. There is approximately a 3.76 second window when the temperature is perfect. This happens when the pilot light on the water heater has just turned on or just turned off, which it does randomly about every 20 seconds. When the water is scalding, it is possible to use it only if you move the showerhead around quickly so that no portion of skin is subjected to the blistering heat for more than .287 seconds. This means you must take a shower like a medicine man doing a spirit dance at a Pow-Wow. The first hotel we stopped at was 138 RMB (23 USD) a night, but they wouldn’t accept us because I don’t have my passport (it’s in Zhongshan at the visa office until next week). So we’re condemned to the dumps that accept illegals like me. As Ann haggled over the price of the room with the Laoban (boss), I glanced to my left to see a large rat run across the courtyard and squeeze into the next yard. I didn’t say anything because I figured that was one less rat here and one more rat in another place we could be if we left…..I think I’ve been in China too long. The Laoban must have seen the rat too, because he accepted 80 RMB  (13 USD) for two rooms for the night.

We walked just over 18 kilometers today, putting us just outside of the massive city of Guangzhou tonight. It was a good but cold day on the road. This morning Brian and I taught Ann how to walk. As I mentioned yesterday, Ann currently has a very unbalanced walk. Through the process of elimination, we’ve attributed her blisters to this fact- she’s putting uneven pressure on certain parts of her feet every time she steps. I was reminded of daily life as a tennis pro as I coached her through the logistics of having a relaxed, even walking style (“breathe in for three steps and out for three”, “keep your core strong and your head up”, “Think about your energy going forward instead of up and down”). It seems a little bit silly to say we’re teaching a 40 year old woman how to walk, but Ann has never learned the art of walking or hiking because she’s never had to. Sports such as hiking, biking, and running are becoming popular in China now, but for a long time it was not part of the culture because the gear was

an expensive luxury that wasn’t readily available. I love that Ann is learning this skill because it reminds me to walk upright, evenly, and to breathe deeply as I walk. We’ll be professionals when we’re finished. We also made a morning stop in a temple. We walked though huge wooden doors with golden knobs on them, into a courtyard that had massive incense coils hanging from the ceiling. We walked further to an altar where old women were offering their prayers and oranges to a shrine. We paid our respects to the Queen of the temple, kneeling awkwardly with our backpacks on. My prayer went something like this, ‘Hey, um, I’ve never heard of you before, but these women seem to have some faith. I don’t really believe in you, but in case you have some pull, we could really use some safety in our travels. Again, I know you’re not real. But just in case you are, please keep us safe. Thanks.’

 Just before lunch it started raining. Ann, Brian, Qing and I stopped to put on our backpack covers and ponchos. I couldn’t stop laughing at Ann because with her backpack behind, her purse in front, and the rain poncho covering all, she looked like a pregnant hunchback! I know I looked ridiculous too, but I could see Ann. Right after it started raining we came to a large bridge over a river. We had a conference at the base of the bridge and decided to get a bus over it. With only a small gap between the road and the concrete

wall, it was too narrow to cross safely on foot. On the other side of the bridge we walked a little ways to find a hot pot restaurant. We ordered a half melon full of boiling broth, three plates of raw meat (yuck!) and a plate of fried rice for me. I was excited that the bathrooms had toilet paper and soap. After lunch we said goodbye to Brian and Qing. They are leaving us to visit friends and family in Shanghai, then they are moving west. It was nice to have their company. Brian helped us prepare for this walk in so many ways. Not only did he give us a TON of gear that we needed but he also helped us get comfortable with camping and walking long distances.

Ann and I are currently enjoying internet at the classiest Chinese restaurant I’ve ever been to. They have pictures in frames on the walls, Christmas lights hung for ambiance, and beautiful decorations for the Chinese New Year. The family of a long-jump champion owns it. The framed pictures are of him and his family all over China. And in the middle there is a framed picture of Wentworth Miller. I don’t know why. We had a HUGE pot of clams, American Budweiser beers (brewed here in Foshan) and sweet potatoes (they don’t actually sell sweet potatoes but the old woman who cooks is so kind that she ran to the market to buy some, then cooked them for us!). We are recapping the day, making plans, and celebrating our first happy day of the trip!

KM count to date- 53.1

Saddle Up- Day 3

We are forced to take our first rest day. Last week Ann and I went to the visa office to get everything sorted for my visa before we left. We took in all of my paperwork, but the woman at booth 28 wouldn’t accept it. She was a large woman with a round face that had a skeptical scowl imprinted onto it. When Ann explained what we were asking for (an extension for my visa so I won’t have to leave the country

at the Liang house with our fellow walkers on day 1

every 60 days while we’re walking) she looked at my paperwork, looked at Ann, looked at me for an uncomfortable amount of time, then gave us a firm ‘No’. We left it there anyway, hoping for a miracle. Yesterday they called and said I needed to come back to Zhongshan to fill out more paperwork. So this morning I took a cab ride back to the International Hotel in Zhongshan. I listened to my ipod and tried not to think about the fact that I seemed to be moving backwards instead of forwards. When I got to the hotel I met Lianna, Anne’s friend and a volunteer for Helping Hands. Lianna chauffeured me to the visa office. We walked into the government building, right back to the booth where Ann and I were last week. Lianna and I walked in to see Scowler sitting at the same booth #28 with that same dismal expression on her face. She recognized me. She wasn’t happy to see me. The feeling was mutual. Lianna must have felt it too, because she opted for the next booth. There, we received resistance from a different woman. She and Lianna exchanged rhetoric in until Lianna pulled out her phone and made a call to an official higher up. She handed the phone to the woman behind the counter. The woman listened intently to the man on the other end of the phone for a few minutes. She handed the phone back to Lianna and handed me the paperwork that I needed to fill out. When I finished, she gave us a receipt.

‘You can pick it up before Chinese New Year’ the woman told Lianna in Chinese.

It helps to know people in high places.

Yesterday was a very hard day. I woke up feeling ill. Maybe it was an emotional hangover from the big day on Sunday, when I cried more in a day than I have in the past year. OR maybe it was an actual hangover after the whiskey Ann’s dad kept pouring into my glass after dinner. Either way, I was exhausted. Ann’s family walked with us until lunchtime. It was so nice to look back and see her chatting while she walked with her aunt, uncle, sister, and father. When we finally stopped for lunch I was too nauseous to eat. After lunch we said goodbye and thank you to Ann’s family and kept on. We were four- Brian the American veteran, his wife Qing, Ann and me. The time passed quickly as we walked. Ann

Ann's poor little piggies

limps as she walks because of her blisters. We had a chat about trying to walk in a balanced way even though it’s painful because limping will only cause bigger physical problems down the road. We entered Foshan, and having achieved our walking goal for the day, we took a bus to a place we thought we could camp. After an hour more walking, we found a nice spot to set up our tents near a construction site. Ann and Qing went to find food and water while Brian and I set up camp. I put up the tent quickly, then set up my hammock, climbed in, and fell asleep immediately. I woke up to Brian’s voice.

‘Darrah.....DARRAH! We have to leave’ he said. I looked up to see a woman and a man in a construction hat standing in the middle of our site, shooing us out. The woman was nice enough to show us to a place where she thought we could camp, but it was no good either. Finally, we decided to get a taxi to a hotel. It is a dingy hotel that costs 10 USD/night. The curtains are Hello Kitty themed and you have to stand over

taking a break on day 2

the Chinese toilet and hold the shower head yourself to get clean. But I have never been so thankful for a hard Chinese bed because I can’t remember ever being so tired in my whole life.

Today I finally feel that I have perspective. The past two days were such an exhausting, emotional ride that it was literally all I could do to keep breathing. I often caught myself with a clenched jaw and no air in my lungs. ‘Just keep moving forward’ I told myself. ‘Every step is a step in the right direction. I’ll never have to take that step again’.  Upon leaving, I was struck with realizations and fears that I never saw coming. I realized that I was leaving my safety net once again. Just like when I coaxed myself onto the plane to come to China, I feared the unknown. Even though I logically know that I’m not alone- that people all over the world are cheering for me, thinking of me, and sending me love and encouragement- I felt so very alone as I walked away from the sense of familiarity and family that it took me nine months to build here. It was a wall that I didn’t expect to hit and it almost got the best of me. This

Our first hostel in Shunde

morning I woke up with the perspective I was lacking over the past few days. The support of the people who love me is with me and that love is not disappearing. If anything, it’s growing every day. I feel it. It is absolutely incredible though, how fear can affect us humans. It’s crippling, excruciating, and it can make us doubt ourselves to an extent of letting go of our dreams- the things we want most in this life. Fear took a strong hold on my body, literally making me ill. Your

encouragement and my determination are what made me continue. They put a calm over me that not even fear could break. Those are the ONLY things that kept me going through the exhaustion of yesterday. And, of course, those New Day babies kept me going. I was thinking about Anna and Noelle. Anna was just moved from the upstairs nursery to the big kids room downstairs. She went from being the oldest in a familiar environment to the youngest and smallest in a new, foreign ‘home’. It has been an adjustment for little Anna. Last week Noelle was matched with her forever family, and she’ll be leaving New Day sometime this year. As I learn more about adoption, I’m learning that it is an amazing act of love, and it is also heartbreaking. Stories like Orphan Annie teach us that once a child is adopted there is a happy fairytale ending that follows. But that’s rarely the truth. Look at it from the child’s perspective. The first thing that happened in this tiny little human’s life was abandonment: abandonment at a

watch where you step

hospital, in a trash can, or, if they were lucky, a baby hatch. The next thing these kids experience is an orphanage. For a while or for years the kiddo might have to compete for everything from food to attention. Some children who are adopted will hoard food even in their new home out of habit. It’s not uncommon for orphanage babies to develop flat heads from being laid down and not held for extended periods of time. Let’s not be quick to judge- orphanages are offering a life-saving service to these children, and doing the best they possibly can with the resources they have. One of the main reason I’m doing this walk is to encourage people to give more resources to the people caring for the orphans of the world (but mostly to New Day, because OH MY GOD HAVE YOU SEEN HOW CUTE OUR KIDS ARE?!) The truth is that no amount of resources will ever be enough to prevent the hardships these children will face throughout their lives. Even if/when these kids go to live with a forever family, there is a transition process that is HEARTBREAKING and EXHAUSTING. There is emotional baggage that these children will carry with them for the rest of their lives. There is hope for healing, though. Every ounce of care, support, and love we give to these foster children is like putting cash in their 'emotional bank account' that has been in the red since they were born. The path of healing is a long road ahead that calls for extreme measures of patience, love, kindness, gentleness, and did I mention patience? Adoptive parents that do it right are angels in human form. This brings me back to Noelle. When Noelle goes to live with her new family, it will surely be one of the happiest days of her parents’ lives. And it could possibly be one of the most traumatic days of Noelle’s life, no matter how loving and excited her new family is (because I'm sure they'll be wonderful). On Sunday I walked away from everything that was familiar and comfortable to me and similarly, like any child who is adopted, Noelle will be whisked away from the only life she has ever known and into a new environment (surely a better one, but it will take time for her to learn that). That is a dose of perspective. The main difference is that I chose this path, and I’m more than equipped to adjust to it. It boils down to this; adjustment is HARD, no matter what form it comes in. It can evoke fear from us that we’re not sure we can handle. No human is immune whether you're a two year old child, a 23 year old adventurer, or a hardened cowboy ("Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway" -JW). Spoiler alert: YOU CAN HANDLE IT. We’re made to handle it, even when it feels uncomfortable. It’s supposed to be uncomfortable; that’s where growth happens. Just like Anna will soon love being downstairs with the big kids, and Noelle will soon feel and trust the love and warmth of her new family, I know I will adjust to life on the road. Sometimes all we can do is remember that we are loved, keep breathing and keep moving in the right direction. And that is enough.

Want to know more about Anna, Noelle, and the kids at New Day South? Click here

KM count to date- 36.5

Bon Voyage- Day1

I woke up with a vibration in my chest. I’d slept on the Canadians’ couch so that I wouldn’t accidentally oversleep, and I woke up to the sound of Roberta singing hymns and the smell of warm cinnamon- French toast. We had a huge breakfast, which the kids started eating while I finished packing my bag. When I finally sat down there were four pieces of French toast on my plate. It was too much food, but when you live in China and somebody puts French toast in front of you, you eat it. That’s the rule. We had been planning this breakfast for a week. We bought the fancy bread and blueberry jam from the western supermarket in the heart of the city. We made spritzers with white wine, soda water, and mango juice. It was delicious. The time to go came all too quickly. Adrian called a cab and the first batch of ready Berzenjis piled in along with me, my bag, and the ‘ni keyi’ flag hung on its flagpole, my hiking stick that the kids painted for me as a surprise.

When we got to the scene (Sunwen Park, under the Zhongshan statue) I got nervous. There were about 50 people gathered to see us off. More came later. Many volunteers from Ann’s charity (The Sunshine is Beside You) were there with a beautiful banner that displayed our route, a lot of writing in Chinese, and an image of Ann and I walking. I started greeting people. Asking westerners to get up and going

before 9AM on a Saturday morning is a tall order. I was thankful and humbled to see to many of my friends there. Gemma and Sabine brought us sunflowers and champagne, which the press was delighted to see me open and spray. I could feel my emotions rising, but I held myself together for the media interviews and the pictures. It wasn’t until Lukai, the youngest Canadian, took my hand and dragged me through the crowd when I became unhinged. Lukai is six and adorable. He led me though the mob of people to show me the men in wheeelchairs. He asked why those men didn’t have legs, and I explained that the men maybe had an accident, or maybe they were born that way. I might have also told him they were Transformers. I had to throw some color in there to make it interesting. He held my hand tight and buried his face into me when the man held out his hand to meet Lukai. After a bit of encouragement, Lukai shook the Transformer’s hand and said ‘hello’.

‘Lukai’ I said, kneeling down to his level. ‘I’ve got to go away for a little while. Ann and I are going to walk a really long way to help these people and to help the babies at New Day- at the foster home. I’ll be away for a while to help them. But I’ll be back when the weather gets warm. Do you understand?’

Lukai took a deep breath, looked at the ground, then looked at me, excitedly. It was the same excitement that comes over him when he’s in a good mood and he wants to express himself but can’t seem to find the right words fast enough. Like when he is telling us how much he likes bacon, or how beautiful he thinks I am (‘Dawah, you’re SO beautiful-you’re like the sun….you’re like a flower…you’re like a sunflower……. like a sunflower Jesus!!!). Lukai grabbed the sunflower out of my hand and half asked/ half proclaimed, ‘You’re going away to help people, like Superman? Like you’re Super? Like, you’re Supergirl?’ He smiled, proud of himself for solving the riddle.

‘Yeah. Kind of like that.’ I said as hot, heavy tears started rolling down my face.

The tears continued. I said ‘goodbye for a while’ to my China family and finally took the first steps in the direction of Beijing. After six months of planning, we were finally heading in the right direction. Well, actually I first started walking in the wrong direction, but Ann quickly corrected me.

It was a long but nice day walking. We had about ten people joining us for the first day. May walked in designer sneakers which, according to her, is ‘nothing compared to shopping for 8 hours in Hong Kong in high heels’. After I got a handle on my emotions I chatted with our supporters as we walked, making the time pass quickly. We arrived to our first stop around 3:30 pm after logging 21 kilometers. After everyone rested, our posse began to leave. My tears continued, uncontrollably. The best word I can use to describe what I was feeling is ‘overwhelmed’, but that doesn’t seem to cover it. I guess that’s the point. My body was a vessel for humility, appreciation, fear of the unknown, excitement, sadness, happiness, and love. It was…..intense, to say the least.

I slept for a while, then we went to dinner with Ann’s family and their neighbors. Half of the village seemed to be in that restaurant. We sat and listened to the men playfully heckle each other, putting on a show for the women who laughed and cheered in return. The men’s words and motions became louder and more dramatic after each ‘ganbei’ (cheers) we made with our glasses of red wine or vodka. I didn’t always know what they were saying, but I knew they were being hilarious. Ann filled me in. She always fills me in.

I made a few calls as I walked home, causing more tears. We sipped whiskey and chatted with Ann's family before heading off to bed. It was a very good first day.